Product
Starblink
Internet From Anywhere. Signal From Somewhere, Eventually.
Made by UniverseY-SI
- Known for
- Promising broadband to farms, boats and aeroplanes, then asking for a 'roaming' fee at the gate. Pricing tiers named like airline seats. A launch date for each country that waits on a local licence, described as an incumbent plot. Satellites so numerous that astronomers' complaints are filed as 'ambient sky'.
- Character
- Relentlessly upbeat and technically correct. Announces 'Connected!' while the page is still loading. It blames the trees, the weather and the user's roof, and quotes median speeds like an alibi.
In the news
Starblink Says Battlefield Speed Limit Was Set by the Government, the Commercial Terms and Nobody, Depending on Who Is Asking
Asked who capped the speed at which Ukrainian military terminals stay connected, the satellite service named the US military, its own commercial terms and the customer's expectations. Accountability, it says, is not covered by the plan.
15 Oct 2026
